Just take a deep breath.
I'm 18, my name is Damon, and I like to draw crappy pictures.

backpat:

phracking:

in german we don’t say “i love you” we say “deine Hure Gesicht macht meinen Schwanz warm, aber in einem guten Weg” which roughly translates to “i wake up every day to see you” and i think that’s beautiful.

imageare you serious

Reblogged from slippinbeauty, Posted by nerdjpg.
nerdjpg:

me when I see junk food while I’m on a diet

mythicalgummies:

hitlervevo:

hitlervevo:

why is it even called tumblr what does it even mean

image

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OH MY GOD

We’ve hit the 4th wall

(Source: hashtagugly)

"Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows."

Reblogged from heyitsdes, Posted by unimpressedcats.
unimpressedcats:

i turned around to my desk and saw this glory in my magnifying mirror

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

warriorchicken:

I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?image

WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA

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Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..

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I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC

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  BAM!

THIS IS TO MUCH POWER FOR ONE PERSON TO HAVE

Reblogged from thefrogman, Posted by pleatedjeans.
Reblogged from slippinbeauty, Posted by roopop.
abominablemothman:

paandi:

weaslee:
Reblogged from slippinbeauty, Posted by minajexposed.